Ah, the ROG Ally X — Asus’ grand return to the world of handheld PC gaming, where they looked at the original ROG Ally and thought, “What if we fixed a few things, doubled the price, and told everyone it’s revolutionary?”
🧠 Design: “It’s New, We Swear”
From a distance, the Ally X looks... exactly like the last one. If you squint, maybe it’s a little thicker — you know, like it’s been stress-eating SSDs since 2023. Asus proudly claims the new shape improves grip and battery life. Translation: “We finally made it less painful to hold for more than twenty minutes.”
It’s still white, still flashy, and still screams “gamer hardware that will clash with every piece of furniture you own.”
⚙️ Performance: Now With 3% More Frames
Under the hood, it’s got the same AMD Z1 Extreme chip — because innovation is hard when the marketing department already printed the boxes. Sure, Asus added a few more watts and better cooling, so you’ll get slightly fewer thermal meltdowns. But don’t worry, your FPS will still tank when Windows decides it’s time to update in the middle of your Elden Ring boss fight.
🔋 Battery Life: From Tragic to “Acceptable”
The new 80Wh battery is the big brag here. Asus claims “double the battery life!” which, in handheld terms, means you’ll now get a full two hours instead of one before the thing cries for its charger. Progress!
Sure, it’s better than before, but calling this “long battery life” is like saying microwaved pizza is “culinary innovation.”
💾 Storage and RAM: More Is More
They doubled the RAM and SSD space, which is nice — especially since modern games eat 200 GB just to install their splash screen. But by the time you’ve finished setting up drivers, BIOS updates, and the 13 different launchers you’ll need, you’ll start to wonder if maybe you should’ve just bought a laptop.
🧩 Windows 11: The Eternal Enemy
Ah yes, the best part of every handheld PC: Windows 11, the operating system that can’t decide if you’re using a touchscreen, a controller, or a telepathic connection. It’s still as clunky and joyless as ever. You’ll spend more time fighting the OS than fighting enemies. Steam Deck owners will nod smugly from the sidelines while you pray your Wi-Fi driver survives sleep mode.
🎮 Gameplay Experience: Almost Great, When It Works
When everything behaves — the drivers, the OS, the overlay, and your patience — the Ally X is actually fantastic. Games look crisp, run well, and you can plug it into anything short of a toaster. But the catch is “when it works.” And it often doesn’t, at least not without you playing part-time tech support for yourself.
💸 Price: A Luxury Pain
At around $800+, the Ally X confidently straddles the line between handheld and full-on laptop money. It’s a device for people who say, “I love PC gaming so much I want to suffer with it everywhere.”
You’re paying for portability, performance, and that ever-elusive Asus promise that this time they got it right. Spoiler: they almost did, but Windows is still the final boss.
🤡 Verdict
The ROG Ally X is a solid handheld trapped in the body of a Windows-powered diva. It’s better, stronger, and less embarrassing than the first Ally — but still can’t escape the eternal curse of driver updates and battery anxiety.
If you love tinkering, tweaking, and troubleshooting, this is your dream toy. If you just want to play games, buy a Steam Deck and spend the rest of your day actually gaming instead of reading BIOS patch notes.
Score: 7.2/10
“Now with 50% less regret!”
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