“Life finds a way. Unfortunately, so do bad sequels.”
Frontier has returned—because apparently, milking a franchise until the bones turn to dust is a feature, not a flaw. Jurassic World Evolution 3 promises the “ultimate dinosaur park simulator,” a line we have now heard twice before, followed by two rounds of DLC, a few patches, and a swarm of players asking why their Stegosaurus has decided to eat a fence for the third time that hour.
But yes, welcome to the grand return: a game that boldly answers the question, “What if we made Evolution 2 again, but with more water and new ways for things to go wrong?”
Graphics & Presentation
Visually, the game looks lovely, in the same way that a repainted used car looks lovely—until you open the hood. The dinosaurs are still gorgeous, animated well, and scientifically questionable, which is exactly what the brand stands for. The environments are lush, cinematic, and slightly improved, presumably so you’ll feel guilty when the camera pans dramatically over the smoldering ruins of your park for the sixth time in a single afternoon.
And of course, Jeff Goldblum is back as Dr. Ian Malcolm, again delivering lines like a man who woke up, grabbed coffee, and recorded his dialogue in one take before remembering he had better things to do. Charming, yes. Enthusiastic, no.
Gameplay
If you enjoyed micromanaging storms, disease, dinosaur mood swings, electric failures, power costs, sabotage, security alerts, and social group complaints, then great news: there are even more ways to suffer now.
Evolution 3 introduces:
-
Pack AI 2.0 — Translation: raptors now ignore orders with more realism and more attitude.
-
Underwater enclosures — Because your nightmares weren’t complete until mosasaurs also escaped and ate half the staff.
-
“Dynamic Disaster Chains” — One disaster can now trigger others. A storm can break a fence, freeing a T-Rex, which eats a scientist, which triggers a lawsuit, which triggers bankruptcy. It’s like Dominoes, but emotional damage is the pizza.
And yes, the dinosaurs still panic if you so much as rearrange a shrubber y two meters to the left. Immersion!
Park Management
Management has been “deeper than ever,” meaning the UI now has extra tabs to get lost in, and every system now has a sub-system. You wanted realism? Congratulations: now you must assign a night shift logistics staff supervisor. The new mechanics don’t make the park more interesting—just more exhausting. It’s less “Jurassic Park fantasy” and more Spreadsheet Simulator With Teeth™.
But don’t worry—microtransactions are here to help. Why earn new attractions when you can buy them? Why unlock skins when you can “support the developers” for the low, low price of a full indie game?
Bugs & Performance
To Frontier’s credit, the game only crashes occasionally. Usually during storms, dinosaur attacks, long autosaves, short autosaves, camera swaps, or menu navigation. But apart from those activities—so most of the game—it’s stable enough.
Verdict
Jurassic World Evolution 3 is beautiful, ambitious, and absolutely determined to remind you that happiness is temporary and walls are useless. It has moments of wonder—right before a hurricane unleashes thirty tons of prehistoric chaos and your park rating drops faster than your will to continue.
It’s not a bad game. Just a predictably exhausting sequel wrapped in cinematic polish, forever trapped between being a management sim and a theme park fever dream.
Score: 6.5/10
Gorgeous, stressful, expensive, and proudly committed to chaos.
Comments
Post a Comment