Score: 6/10
Ah, Absolum — yet another roguelike beat’em up that swears it’s doing something “fresh” with the genre, right before handing you your 14th reskinned metal pipe and telling you to go die creatively again.
You play as some tragic hero (or maybe just a guy who really hates furniture) trapped in a neon wasteland where everything is out to kill you — and apparently, that’s supposed to be “fun.” The combat feels great at first: crisp punches, crunchy hits, slow-mo knockouts — until you realize you’re just spamming the same three combos like a caffeinated toddler mashing buttons on dad’s old arcade stick.
Of course, it’s a roguelike, which means dying is part of the “experience.” Translation: you’ll replay the same room 57 times because the random loot system blessed you with a rubber chicken instead of a sword. But hey, you did unlock a passive that makes you 2% more resistant to boredom. Progress!
The enemies are stylish but dumb, the bosses are flashy but cheap, and the soundtrack slaps — which is good, because you’ll be hearing it on loop while reconsidering your life choices. The story tries to be “philosophical,” tossing out cryptic lines about redemption and cycles, but really, it’s just an excuse to punch glowing mutants in slow motion again.
The Verdict:
A stylishly violent treadmill of déjà vu. Absolum wants to be profound, but it’s really just a beautiful rage simulator wrapped in edgy lore and particle effects.
Final Score: 6/10 – “Like Hades’ less-talented cousin who still insists he’s in a band.”
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